Sunday 15th April 2007

It’s OK to Doubt

“Doubt is the ants in the pants of faith. Doubt keeps faith awake and moving. Whether your faith is that Jesus is the son of God or that he is not, if you don't have any doubts, you are either kidding yourself or asleep!” The words of evangelist, Frederick Beuchner

Last Sunday the Christian church throughout the world remembered the crucifixion and resurrection of our Lord. Easter reminds us that Jesus rose from the dead. Jesus died. Three days later he was raised from the dead. He stood amongst his disciples – they knew who he was and he was able to show him the wounds on his hands and his feet.

And yet we are tempted to doubt. Somehow 2000 years after the event we are tempted to suggest that perhaps it didn’t happen like the way the disciples said it did. We are tempted to find new meaning in the Easter story. New meaning that makes it convenient for our heads to get around something which is so amazing it can seem beyond our comprehension.

Many of you will know that for the past three months I have been on placement in a Parish in Busbridge which is near Godalming.

A few weeks ago, whilst there, I had the privilege of joining a so called ‘sceptic’s breakfast’. The group, eight men, have all completed the Alpha course (the introduction to Christianity course). They meet monthly with the Rector to continue their explorations and they were genuinely interested to hear what I had to say. During the conversations one of the men said that he had completed the Alpha course and was waiting for something to happen.

“What were you waiting for” I asked. “Some kind of sign” – “some kind of feeling that the Holy Spirit was inside me” he replied.

Apparently the Alpha course had ended with a day on the Holy Spirit and they were aware for some of their predecessors on their course this was the day where they really had felt a conversion experience.

I suggested to the group that from my experience it wasn’t always like that.

For some of us conversion was and is a gradual process. Yes there are “aha” moments but most of the time we don’t go around feeling that we are quote “filled with the holy spirit”. I’m not for one moment deriding those who can witness to some deep emotional or physical conversion. I’m just saying that I have never had those experiences.

That,I believe, makes me no less a Christian than any that do.

And it makes me no less a Christian if on occasions I have doubts.

I know that many people feel that they have let God down or don’t feel Christian at all because they have doubts. And yet I suspect that there isn’t one person in this church this morning who on some occasions have not had doubt. Doubt is normal and honest doubt is part of faith.

It’s easy to doubt when the world around you looks desperate and bleak. It’s easy to doubt when you have just lost your loved one.

It’s easy to doubt when the person you most love is about die of a wicked illness. Being a Christian is not always about going about with a spring in our step – oblivious to the sufferings of this world.

Even the greatest of Bible characters had moments of doubt. Moses, Jeremiah, John the Baptist to name but a few.

Some of you will know that I work as a manager in a doctor’s surgery. Part of my job is to try and improve the uptake of various vaccinations. Let’s think about a vaccination for a moment.

Let’s take flu vaccine. In order to protect someone from flu they are given a small amount of the flu strain they are being protected against. This protection then makes them immune from the dangerous perils of flu. Faith and doubt can work in a similar way. We inject a small amount of doubt into ourselves and it protects our faith.

Doubt makes us think about what we believe. Blind faith can make us ‘luke warm’ about our faith but faith based on exploration and asking deep probing questions creates in us a faith that is very much alive. Doubt encourages rethinking. Doubt can be used to pose the question, get and answer and push for a decision.

But it was not meant to be a permanent condition.

Henry Drummond wrote "Doubt is 'can't believe.' Unbelief is 'won't believe.' Doubt is honesty; unbelief is obstinacy. Doubt is looking for light; unbelief is content with darkness"

Those men at the Busbridge breakfast house group will, I believe, have a deep faith because they have been prepared to invest in finding a deep meaning to what they are being offered. Like Thomas they are saying show me the evidence and if I see it I will believe.

Thomas, so often remembered as “doubting Thomas”, deserves to be respected for his faith. Yes he was a doubter – but his doubts had a purpose – he wanted to know the truth. Like those men in Busbridge, Thomas needed convincing. Thomas did not idolise his doubts – he gladly believed when given reason to do so. He expressed his doubts fully and had them answered completely. Doubting was only his way of responding, not his way of life.

Although we don’t know a great deal about Thomas, his character comes through with consistency. Thomas was a loyal servant.

At one point, when it was plain to every one that Jesus life was in danger, only Thomas put into words what most were feeling. “Let’s go too – and die with Jesus”. He didn’t hesitate to follow Jesus.

We don’t know why Thomas was alone when Jesus appeared to the other disciples. The news Jesus was alive was too much for him.

After all he has just witnessed the death of his friend in such a cruel and barbaric way. The news that Jesus had risen from the dead and was alive baffled him in the same way it baffles us.

The reaction of Thomas when he was told about Jesus was not one of, excitement and saying “Gosh I’d better go and see him’ Instead he is skeptical and unbelieving, an attitude characteristic of many people today. We could say that in many ways Thomas was born 2000 ahead of his time.

I wonder – have you ever wished you could actually see Jesus, touch him, and hear his words? Are there times you want to sit down with him and get his advice?

Thomas wanted Jesus physical presence. But God’s plan was wiser.

He was not limiting himself to one physical body; he wants to be present with us at all times. Even now he is with us in the form of the Holy Spirit. We can talk to him and we can find his words to us in the pages of the Bible. He can be as real to us as he was to Thomas.

Jesus wasn’t tough on Thomas for his doubts. Some people need to doubt before they can believe. If it leads to questions and questions lead to answers and answers are accepted then doubt has done good work. When it becomes stubbornness and stubbornness becomes a way of life then doubt harms faith. When you doubt – don’t stop there. Let it deepen your faith as you continue to look for the answer. And then you can honestly say to Jesus you are indeed, “My Lord and my God”. Amen.

©Renos Pittarides April

Posted: 16/04/2007